The British news is still crushingly tedious, but I’ve managed to tease out something worthwhile from all my time spent reading it:

Telegraph – Notebook by Simon Heffer (fourth item)

A cheaper way to get rid of pigeons

Like most English taxpayers, I have long felt the Scottish Parliament has not wasted enough of my money, so I was delighted to hear that another means of doing so was devised this week. A nesting pigeon chick has been discovered at this building, even though the £430 million bill for it allegedly included anti-bird spikes. Health and Safety has now intervened, presumably fearing squadrons of these things are about to dive-bomb luxuriating MSPs. The solution is to spend £250 removing the chick to a wildlife sanctuary in Ayrshire, which will care for it until it is released into the wild. Officials at the parliament say any other course “would condemn the pigeon to death”. Pigeons are considered by law to be such vermin that they can be shot at any time. A shotgun cartridge costs 20p. Even if it takes the second barrel to do the job, isn’t that still £249.60 cheaper than the other option?