In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Move to America:

I’m half British, half American. My passport has an eagle with a tea bag in its beak.