Is even funnier if you remember this:
From the second:
When I’m faced with intransigence at a car-rental desk, what I like to do is summon up some little nugget of military history. It’s never difficult. In Germany I tell them about Dresden, in France it’s Agincourt, in Spain I wax lyrical about Drake, in Italy I’m spoilt for choice, and in Argentina, where I’m going next year, I shall be mentioning Goose Green.
In Canada I told the smiling girl at the Thrifty desk all about the massive superiority of General Wolfe over the pitiable Marquis de Montcalm and explained that if she didn’t come up with a car – right now – I’d visit the Plains of Abraham on her desk.
And from the first:
After a couple of hours, I asked the receptionist how long it might be before a doctor came. In a Wal-Mart, it’s quite quaint to be served by a fat, gum-chewing teenager who claims not to understand what you’re saying, but in a hospital it’s annoying. Resisting the temptation to explain that the Marquis de Montcalm lost and that it’s time to get over it, I went back to the boy’s cubicle, which he was sharing with a young Muslim couple.
Etc. Read the whole thing (for the serious bits).