ninme

Before I get to the Oscar Nominations, this, from Jonah Goldberg made me laugh:

It’s a bit funny, then, to hear some people claim that Avatar, with its cartoonish environmentalism and hackneyed attacks on the military and those evil corporations, is proof that Americans love serious left-wing preaching with their popcorn. “For years,” writes Patrick Goldstein in the Los Angeles Times, “pundits and bloggers on the right have ceaselessly attacked liberal Hollywood for being out of touch with rank and file moviegoers, complaining that executives and filmmakers continue to make films that have precious little resonance with Middle America.” The last laugh is on them, cackles Goldstein, because Avatar “totally turns this theory on its head.”

I’m sure Goldstein’s right. No doubt James Cameron could have made Avatar for $300 million less and still made a fortune. After all, audiences didn’t need the 3-D digital magic, explosions, giant aliens, or spectacular backdrops. All they wanted was an extended lecture about the evils of corporate America and the cruelty of the military, and some gassy pantheistic blather about the need to get back to nature. Why, Cameron could have simply recorded a poetry jam at Barbra Streisand’s house and still put out the highest-grossing film ever.

Goldstein’s effort is a good example of how critics and historians want to impose significance on films that may not be there.

Here are the nominations in full(ish):

Best Picture:
Avatar, The Blind Side, District 9, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man, Up, Up In The Air

Okay it’s official. Having 26 nominations in this category is idiotic. I’ve only seen Inglourious Basterds and a fifth of Distrcit 9 and I hate to say it but I have a feeling Avatar’s the only one that won’t split its vote with competitor.

Best Actor:
Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart), George Clooney (Up In The Air), Colin Firth (A Single Man), Morgan Freeman (Invictus), Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)

Haven’t seen any of them. But based on the amount his front-row-of-fashion-shows fee has gone up since doing that movie, I’m going to go with Colin Firth.

Best Actress:
Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side), Helen Mirren (The Last Station), Carey Mulligan (An Education), Gabourey Sidibe (Precious), Meryl Streep (Julie & Julia)

Haven’t seen any of them. But Julie & Julia looked obnoxious as hell so I hope it isn’t Meryl.

Best Supporting Actor:
Matt Damon (Invictus), Woody Harrelson (The Messenger), Christopher Plummer (The Last Station), Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones), Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)

CHRISTOPH WALTZ! Oh man he was good in that movie. But I haven’t seen any of the other ones.

Best Supporting Actress:
Penelope Cruz (Nine), Vera Farmiga (Up In The Air), Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart), Anna Kendrick (Up In The Air), Mo’Nique (Precious)

Haven’t seen any of them. But I hope Penelope Cruz wins cuz I think she’s purdy.

Best Animated Feature Film:
Coraline, Fantastic Mr Fox, The Princess and the Frog, The Secret of Kells, Up

UP! UP! UP! Haven’t seen any of the others.

Best Art Direction:
Avatar, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Nine, Sherlock Holmes, The Young Victoria

Oh, God in heaven, please not Avatar. I heard good things about The Young Victoria, but I don’t suppose it has a chance. Maybe Parnassus? Everyone’s a fan of Gilliam even when his movies don’t quite make it.

Best Cinematography:
Avatar, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, The White Ribbon

I’m gonna go with Basterds. I’ve only seen Harry Potter, other than that, and I can’t imagine them going for a “children’s movie”.

Best Costume Design:
Bright Star, Coco Before Chanel, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Nine, The Young Victoria

Haven’t seen any of them, but either Nine or The Young Victoria.

Best Director:
James Cameron (Avatar), Kathrun Bigelow (The Hurt Locker), Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds), Lee Daniels (Precious), Jason Reitman (Up In The Air)

Oh Mary, mother of God, not Avatar. I can’t see Tarantino winning, though, and I haven’t seen the other ones. But I’ll go with Kathryn Bigelow, because she apparently does “macho” better than anyone else in Hollywood (according to Dr Kermode) and she’s a girl and she’s Cameron’s ex-wife.

I’m skipping the documentaries. And editing.

Best Foreign Language Film:
Ajami (Israel), El Secreto de Sus Ojos (Argentina), The Milk of Sorrow (Peru), Un Prophete (France), The White Ribbon (Germany)

Haven’t seen any of them but I’m in a German mood so I’ll go with The White Ribbon.

Best Make-Up
Il Divo, Star Trek, The Young Victoria

I’ve only seen Star Trek. So heck, let’s go with that.

Best Music (Original Score)
Avatar, Fantastic Mr Fox, The Hurt Locker, Sherlock Holmes, Up

Oh saints in heaven above, please not Avatar. So: UP!

Best Music (Original Song)
Almost There (The Princess and the Frog), Down in New Orleans (The Princess and the Frog), Loin de Paname (Paris 36), Take It All (Nine), The Weary Kind (Crazy Heart)

Haven’t seen any of them, but I’m gonna go with Loin de Paname from Paris 36 because I’ve never even heard of it and it sounds kinda nifty.

Skipping the short films.

Best Sound Editing
Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, Star Trek, Up

UP!

Best Sound Mixing
Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, Star Trek, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Angels protect us, please not Avatar. Maybe Star Trek.

Best Visual Effects
Avatar, District 9, Star Trek

Fathers of the church protect us, please not Avatar.

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
District 9, An Education, In The Loop, Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire, Up In The Air

Haven’t seen any of them in their entirety but the bits I saw of District 9 looked cleverly done.

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)
The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, The Messenger, A Serious Man, Up

UP!

And Peter has proclaimed this the greatest movie review ever (apparently he did one 70 minutes long on Phantom Menace which, at 70 minutes long, went viral). It sounds a little silly at first but stick with it, it’s surprisingly deep (and the language is a bit salty):

Quickly distilled:”I just had a hard time getting past how manipulative and simple the story was.”