I have no need for Cinnamon Sugar Spiced Pecans, but:
A few lines from the packaging:
“A nut your mother will love”
“The chosen pecan”
“Oy… Ingredients so good we had to pay retail!”
“Delivered by Schlemiels on Wheels” (I love that my phone knew to autocomplete Schlemiel)
“Novato, CA 94949 What… You were expecting Brooklyn?”
Update: You can peel back the blue seal at the top and it’ll turn into a piggy bank. It took me this long to get that.